


I'm sorry I'm sorry

by AMNigma



Series: The Owl House | Unexpected Lovers [2]
Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Gus is babey, Luz is a protective mama, M/M, That's it, oh mattholomule's kinda oc, sorry for that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:55:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25394971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AMNigma/pseuds/AMNigma
Summary: Prompt:"I'm sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I just-I can't help-""I know. ...But I don't know what more I can do, [----]. You won't let me help you--you say you want help, say you want me, but every time I try you just end up lashing out and push me farther away. ...I love you. But this relationship isn't healthy for either of us, and I--I'm not strong enough to support you and keep myself afloat too. You need someone better-""I don't want someone better! I want you, I love you-""If this carries on we'll drown one another, [----]. We'll end up destroying whatever's left that's good between us and hating one another in the long run. Letting go now is what's best."
Relationships: Gus/Mattholomule (The Owl House)
Series: The Owl House | Unexpected Lovers [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1839250
Comments: 14
Kudos: 18





	I'm sorry I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> This is a commission from victoryfroststarlight from Tumblr so thank them if you like it! Enjoy!

The destruction of their relationship didn’t start right away. It was a gradual build-up of emotions and bad history that made the stress of their relationship worsen. They tried to save it salvage what could have been left, but try as they might, they couldn’t do anything. 

After they talked about their feelings in the cave where Matt always wanted to hide himself in, Gus knew that it would be the start of a great relationship. He didn’t know that it would end up in this. 

“So this is it, huh?” Gus asked, and he couldn’t help the tears that came down his face. Matt had a signature sneer on his face, but Gus knew that it was a defense from showing actual emotion. A mask to hide the sadness within. 

“I’m sorry,” he heard Matt say, his pointed ears drooped slightly. “I’m so sorry. I-” Matt rarely apologized, if ever. “I never meant to hurt you. I just- I can't help-"

"I know,” Gus forced out, choking on his own tears as he forced a sad smile on his face. “Don’t you think I know that?” There was a desperation in his voice that he never wanted Matt to hear before. “But I don't know what more you want me to do.” 

It’s been three months since they got together, and it was some of the best months in his life, but-- “You won't let me help you, Matt. I try and try and _try_ every time you say you want help, say you want _me_ , but every time I help it you just end up with you pushing me farther away. You go deeper and deeper into whatever deception it is you do and,” he let out an unsteady breath as he wiped away the tears. 

He felt Matt help wipe his tears away and Gus let him. Gus let him, leaned into the touch as it may be the last time it happens. “I love you,” he admits with a small voice, but it wasn’t something he never said before. “I love you so, _so_ much, but this relationship isn't healthy for either of us, and I,” he opened his eyes, not realizing he’d closed them to savor the warmth of Matt’s hand. “I'm not strong enough to support you and keep myself afloat too. You need someone better-"

He felt Matt’s forehead on his, their ragged breaths mixing together. "I don't want someone better.” The protest made Gus smile. A warm bubble growing in him, but he knew he had to push it down. “It’s _you_ I want. I want you, I love you. I-"

Gus put a finger over "If this carries on we'll drown one another. We'll end up destroying whatever's left that's good between us and hating one another in the long run.” He remembered the times when they always fought. When they fought in every nook and cranny in the school. “I don’t want to go back. I don’t want to hate you anymore.” The tears flowed harder, and he held Matt’s hands on his face. “Letting go now is what's best."

~~

“Mattholomule!” the voice resounded through the room. The walls shook, the light flickered, the ground trembled. It was as if the presence of the owner of the voice called upon calamity. Because of this, it was only fair that Mattholomule ran as fast as he could _away_ from the source of that voice. 

Hiding his face through his cap, he tried his best to not make a noise, so he could sneak away silently. Looking back to make sure that no one was looking at him, he walked straight, not looking ahead in time, only to bump into the scariest person he’s ever seen. Luz Noceda. 

“There you are,” she sneered and Mattholomule stood up straight. 

“Oh, hi, man! I haven’t seen you in a _long_ time,” laughing awkwardly, he took baby steps backward to get away from the fellow witch. “Not that I didn’t want to, I mean like not that I really wanted to either, but not in the way you’re probably thinking.” He looked around to see what he could distract the girl with, only to have Augusts come to his mind. 

Shaking his head from the thoughts of the other boy, he looked at the door and widened his eyes as dramatically as he could. “Gus,” he whispered the name with ashen taste. 

Mattholomule saw Luz look at the area where he was looking at, momentarily distracted by the name he spoke, he knew. Taking the slight distraction as a way to escape, Mattholomule ran through the other side of the door as fast as he could. 

He failed. Amity Blight was on his path. 

“Did you actually think that you could leave?” Luz’s face was a scary combination of manic and anger and Mattholomule knew he should be scared out of his wits, but remembering the crying expression of Gus made Luz Noceda’s face look like nothing. 

He felt an invisible force carry his body up and Mattholomule realized that he was being lifted by a spell. With a flick of Luz’s hand, he was slammed into the wall. A crowd had started to round them, it’s been a while since he’d had this kind of attention.

“How _dare_ you,” Luz was seething and Mattholomule knew he deserved it. “After all this time, you had the audacity--” 

“You don’t know anything.” He was glad his voice was even despite the rush of emotions in him. Maybe he was a psychopath like they all said. 

He felt his body get slammed again, his mind was disoriented, he could taste iron in his mouth. 

_Slam!_ “You had _no right_ to break his heart.”

Mattholomule smiled at that. Indeed. He didn’t, but it wasn’t like he wanted to. He never meant that to happen. He wanted to change. He was trying to change. He-

“You were supposed to make him happy!” 

He thought so, too. Where did it all go wrong?

“I-”

“Enough!” With hazed eyes and surroundings, Mattholomule looked at the source of the voice. Principal Bump. “What is happening here?” 

“It was my fault!” he said as loud as he could. It came out as a croak, but he garnered enough attention for others to acknowledge who spoke. 

The old witch looked directly at him and Mattholomule limped his way to the Principal. He passed Luz in the process and Mattholomule whispered silently under his breath loud enough for her and only her to hear. 

“He broke my heart, too.”

~~

Gus heard the commotion, but he could no longer care. 

“Where’s Luz?” 

Willow looked away as she kept eating her food. “I-I’m sure she’s on her way.” 

“Emergency!” a random student screamed from the entrance of the cafeteria. “Luz Noceda and Mattholomule are fighting!”

~~

“I wouldn’t really call it a fight,” Gus heard Amity Blight as they were waiting for the verdict of Principal Bump outside of his office. “It was more like a massacre.” 

He feared for the worst. Did Matt do something to Luz?

“Luzura won by a landslide,” he knew it Matt-- wait.

“Luz _won_?”

The attention diverted to Gus and the pairs of eyes that were attached to the door of the Principal’s office was now on him. 

“Well, you could call it that.” 

That’s not possible. Luz may have so much potential, but Matt would have at least defended himself in some way, wouldn’t he? 

~~

“So let me get this straight,” Principal Bump’s commanding voice had always had an effect on Luz, but her irritation with the situation did not fade. 

“You broke her friend’s heart and _you_ ,” the old witch looked at her, “broke his bones in retaliation.” 

There was a silence that followed. She was tired of having to explain the situation over and over again, especially since it was a personal matter. 

“I’m not sorry. I’ll take a punishment.” 

The old witch looked at Mattholomule, who was still casting his eyes downwards. 

“Me, too.” 

Principal Bump put an hourglass on his table. “This hourglass fills up with every friendly interaction you have. Fix your relationship before you get out.” 

As the old witch left, Luz finally understood what that hourglass was all about. He’d seen it plenty of times before. 

“So _this_ was how it all started, huh? That time when you got detention all those months ago.” 

~~

Remembering the first time he’d seen the hourglass and resented it, too, the tears in Mattholomule’s eyes felt like rusty daggers dipped in spice, cutting through his heart. 

He grunted in agreement with Luz’s statement. He had nothing else to do anyway. 

“Did you have fun? Breaking Gus’ heart?” There was spite and hate in the tone of the human’s voice and Mattholomule couldn’t stop her. Didn’t even want to anymore. What was the point? “Was it part of some sick, convoluted plan to manipulate him, thinking you’ve changed when you couldn’t get over using your lies and deceit?” 

The hourglass was still, the sand above not moving an inch. It was a reminder that it probably would never any more. Not without Gus there with him. 

“Are you going to keep crying? Is this your new M.O.? To make people sorry for you?”

He didn’t know. He didn’t even _care_. Matt hid his eyes under the safety of his cap, missing the warmth Gus would give him every time he felt down. 

“Was that talk about him breaking your heart, too, all an act?” 

“He did!” Matt cried out pathetically, anger seeping in his voice. “He broke my heart, too, but that doesn’t matter because his pain-” he couldn’t bear to think back to that time. “I loved him, I love him still, but he wanted us to break up and I-” 

He fell to the ground, the seat no longer providing him the comfort he thought it did. 

“I couldn’t stop it, Luz. I wanted to. I wanted so, _so_ badly, but I couldn’t. I just couldn’t. Not when he asked me to let go of him. Not when he smiled with tears in his face knowing that I was the reason for his pain.” 

Tiny daggers began squeezing his heart. 

“I tried to change, I wanted to if it was for him, but I couldn’t. I tried. I tried so hard, but I couldn’t. Every time I tried, my past comes back to haunt me and I just-”

He felt a familiar warm hug envelop him, and he thought that Luz wanted to comfort him. Matt leaned to the hug, wanting the warmth of someone else, even if it came from Gus’ friend. Maybe he wanted it because of that. 

“I miss him so much,” he whimpered miserably. “I miss him so, so much and I just- I can’t have him anymore Luz. I want him back, but that doesn’t mean I can’t hurt him anymore. I don’t want him to be hurt, especially not by me. I thought-” he looked back to his ideas of their relationship before when Gus was always the one who ran after him when he lashed out. “I thought I could make him happy. I wanted to. I wanted to so badly and I didn’t know where I kept fucking up, but I did and I don’t have the right to be the one crying.” 

“I’m so sorry, Luz. Ca- Can you at least tell him that?” 

“Why don’t you tell me yourself?” he heard the familiar voice say ad Mattholomule looked up to see the boy that had been haunting his every waking hour in front of him, hugging him, Luz Noceda nowhere in sight. 

“I-I, what?” 

“Principal Bump transported me here and Luz out.” 

Mattholomule gulped, knowing that they were alone now.

“You were apologizing?” Gus said sadly, trying to be teasing when Mattholomule knew that it was all fake. Resting his head on his fellow witch’s chest once more, he let his trembling hands hug Gus back. 

“I love you, I miss you so much. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.” 

He felt Gus hug him tightly, nuzzling his head in the soft arms. “I know, I know.” It was all that mattered right then. 


End file.
